THIS IS THE CUTEST THING I HAVE EVER SEEN.
There is a chart that shows you how to use “your spoons” throughout the day. The spoons are energy, ability, pain tolerance.
This chart is for chronically ill people. The premise is you only have so many spoons to use each day, so chose them wisely.
I am chronically ill.
And I am disabled.
This is something I have been coming to terms with.
There are so many things I’d like to do, but I don’t have enough spoons.
There are so many things I need to do, but I don’t have enough spoons.
For a ridiculously independent woman, this has been agonizing. When I go to the store, there are things I can’t get because I know I won’t be able to get them up the stairs to my apartment. I have one shot. No multiple trips. Can’t carry anything too heavy. Hard to open the door when you have to keep one hand on a cane. So many times I just say screw itand let the cupboard go bare.
Right now I have about fifteen loads of laundry to do.
I am lucky to have a sister who comes over and takes out my garbage. I had been relying on my 63 year old neighbor who has a torn meniscus be he is still stronger than I am. And my brother and sister in law make time out of busy schedules for me.
We won’t talk about the pain. That is a whole other issue.
But I wanted to let you, and by doing so acknowledge to myself, what my reality is. I haven’t got many spoons. And I’ve been an idiot with the ones I have some times. Time to shine up the ones I’ve got and be a grown up about this.
Samuel Beckett par Steve Schapiro en 1964
William Gedney, Girls washing hair in washtub, 1964.